The Corona Bucket Story

I was surprised, but this story went over very well at the con this year. It just sort of epitomizes defcon for me.

After the road trip from hell I desperately needed Booze and food (in that order). Myself, Panthera, Matt and Ras went over to the Hard Rock hotel to Lucky's (a nice 24/7 restaurant, a favorite of defcon). Just as we were getting our table, a bunch of Defcon folk came up behind us to eat as well. I met most of them just a few minutes earlier in the parking lot with Chris and Blackwave. We decided to get a table together. I recall that Twin Vega, CK3K, EMT, Dataworm and Octalpussy were there.

When the waitress came around for drink orders she came to me last and I ordered 'A bucket of Corona' (6 Corona Beers in a bucket of ice). Everyone looked at me strange, especially the waitress, I repeated my order and told her, 'Yes, I know what I'm ordering'. She shrugged 'OK' and wandered off. Everyone was still looking at me funny.

When the drinks came, they were handed out in the order they were taken, with mine requiring a special trip. They originally gave it to EMT, but I corrected the waitress and said 'I'm the lush with the totaled car'. My reputation as 'Drunken Stumbler' on the Netstumbler Message Board had been confirmed.

A beef dip and 4 beers later I was starting to feel like something resembling a creature from this solar system. Everyone else was leaving, but I still had 2.5 beers left. They invited myself and everyone else to the 2nd pool to kick off the Defcon party week. Not wanting to miss anything I wanted to go right away I decided to just take my remaining beers with me. However, on the 1 block walk back to the AP, I didn't want them getting warm, so I decided that the bucket had to come with me. I took a moment to finish the 1/2 a corona I had left and told Panthera & Ras to run interference. I walked directly behind them, keeping the bucket and beer out of sight from the waitress. Ras got right in her face thanking her for the service, while I kept the bucket between Panthera and myself as we made a b-line for the main doors.

It was a triumphant walk back to the AP. I had the bucket! A mighty cheer rose up from those already at pool 2 when I walked around the corner an proclaimed loudly 'I got the Bucket!'

Through the night The bucket was used for Ice, Redbull, Vodka and a multitude of other beverages. I think there were gummie bears involved at one point

After much fun and much booze, I left to party for the night since I needed to get up in the morning on time for a tour of the Shelby American factory. In my drunken haste I forgot the bucket. The next morning I remembered I forgot the bucket. I checked with everyone who was there that night and found that Siviak had rescued it and had it at his apartment. For the rest of the con, refrains of 'Where's my damn bucket' were heard quite often throughout the convention.

Siviak still has my bucket that I stole first. I WILL get it back next year. I need an reason to return to Defcon next year, and it is now to reclaim my rightfully stolen property!


The Bucket was brought to DC12 to many laughs, memories and runs to the ice machine. Siviak spent much of the con holding my bucket hostage in the QC.

After con, I went to retrieve my bucket as per an agreement I made with Siviak, only for the both of us to discover that his mom (who had been at con), had snaked the bucket and taken it home with her!

The bucket now resides somewhere around McCalla, Alabama. Hopefully it will show up at DC13


The bucket is safely back at home in the RenderLab after Defcon 13.

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